The Burden of Beauty

Alright listen up. I’m here to tell you why makeup is The Worst.

  1. Women are expected to wear it. Men are not.
  2. Makeup wipes.
  3. Squeezing a 0.2mm-thick line of eyeliner onto my tiny hooded eyelids.
  4. When all you want to do is rub your eyes but you can’t.
  5. “Are you tired?”
  6. Capitalism.
  7. Contouring is a thing now???????
  8. Impersonating the exorcist while tightlining your eyes.
  9. Women are expected to wear it. Men are not.
  10. Sisters, not twins.
  11. Matching your foundation to your actual skin tone.
  12. Squeezing a 0.2mm-thick line of lipstick onto my tiny upper lip.
  13. We have to worry about eyebrows now??????
  14. Women are expected to wear it. Men are not.
  15. Fallout.
  16. Fixing your eyeliner wings until they fly into your hairline.
  17. Getting foundation on your shirts.
  18. Spending like $40 on a single eyeshadow palette???????
  19. The patriarchy.
  20. Women are expected to wear it. Men are not.
  21. People who judge you for wearing too much makeup.
  22. When your glasses rub the foundation off the bridge of your nose.
  23. Losing sleep because you have to wake up early and paint colors on your face.
  24. Eye makeup that doesn’t come off for like three days.
  25. Women are expected to wear it. Men are not.

Ok to be fair makeup is not All Bad. Here are some good things I guess.

  1. Putting it on is kinda fun.
  2. Looking bomb (until you realize you’ve created an impossible standard that you must now live up to forever and always.)
  3. That’s it those are the only good things.

 

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